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I Wear Heels, Stop Judging Me

April 12, 2011

Alfani Ankle Boots (Macy's)

*This happened a while ago, but I’m only getting my thoughts and gutts together now to post it.*

Stop trying to silence me.  I like to wear heels to work.  That does not make it acceptable for you to joke about the sound my shoes make as I walk down the halls.  You are professionals.  You are adults.  Grow the F up.

For too long, people have tried to teach women to take up less space.

  • Cross your legs, dear.  It’s not lady like to sit like a man with your legs spread out.
  • Speak more softly, dear.  Ladies do not raise their voice.
  • Don’t interrupt him, dear.  You don’t want him to think you’re too aggressive.

No, I will not.  No, I will not let you make me invisible.  You never mention the noise the men make when they wear their heels, and yet you find it acceptable to point it out when women do?  Your prejudice is there.  You may not see it, but I do.  It does not matter that you are a woman or a man, it does not make it okay.  I will not laugh.  I will not let you get away with it again.

You make me uncomfortable in my workplace.  Your comments make me second guess what I wear each day.  You are focusing on my appearance instead of my intelligence.  You are microaggressing me and it is not okay.

Period.  End of story.


From → Fashion, Life

  1. Great post– I feel your pain! There is a woman in my office who loves to comment on my heels, particularly when she feels they are too high. She will make loud, inappropriate comments about them which are so embarassing– now I don’t even wear my higher heels to the office because it makes me so uncomfortable.

  2. I had a friend in college and she told us that her mother had said, “Try not to laugh so loud. It makes you sound easy.” Ridiculous! It’s so offensive to think that a woman shouldn’t be vibrant, stylish, bold AND intelligent. There are so many mixed messages about portraying the appropriate level of femininity. We have to act like a “woman” so we don’t offend anyone, but if we dress too much like one it keeps people from taking us seriously.

  3. UGH. YES. I hear you!!! I used to work with a man old enough to be my father who would frequently make skeevy comments about how “inappropriate” the neckline of my shirt was and how much skin I was showing. Total sexual harassment. UGH.

  4. Ugh. This is so frustrating to me. When I was teaching last year, I always wore heels…but I am quite sure that I was the only woman to do so. To me, it was second nature to wear them, and I wasn’t going to stop wearing what I liked (aside from sky high heels of course). I feel more confident in heels, and much more authoritative. However, on the other side of things, I do remember getting comments from students that they had the “hot teacher” and I even got a few notes such as “love your outfits” on my teacher evaluation forms at the end of the semester. Oh sheesh. To be fair: I always would dress conservatively, but hey: there were times that I did wear knee length skirts with heels…so yeah…my legs were showing. But why should I feel like I have to cover up or wear loose fitting clothing to hide my figure just because I am a woman? Seriously…that isn’t fair. I absolutely hate that I have to fight the way that I look in order to be “taken seriously.”

    Keep wearing your heels lady! 😉

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